13 Monstrous rumors

Some ideas I had while paging through the 5e Monster Manual (which I'm quite impressed with, I may have to write a review later.)

• The basilisk is the female of the species. The cockatrice is male. To stumble upon them as they mate is not a pleasant experience.
• There once lived an albino red dragon whose favorite amusement was battling wizards who, believing him to be a white dragon, had filled their minds with fire spells.
• Erelhei-Cinlu and Menzoberranzan are the drow equivalent of the (ahem) Deep South. While dark elf society is decadent and duplicitous, other drow mock their excessive devotion to Lolth and cultural obsession with slavery.
• Dryads love to ride on the shoulders of treants. It makes them feel safe.
• Gargoyles only move when no one is watching... or so they believe; they are in fact rather poor judges of other creatures' visual acuity.
• All genies are able to grant wishes, but only nobles are authorized to do so.
• Ghouls and ghasts are actually a living race, not a type of undead, they merely recoil from holiness as if they were.
• Ice devils are not truly devils, but have lived in the nine hells so long as to work their way into the hierarchy anyhow.
• It is a mercy that the Invisible Stalker cannot be seen, and an even greater one that enchantments to see the invisible relay only a vague, formless outline. Those under the effects of truesight who have seen an Invisible Stalker uncloaked invariably retreat beyond the farthest shores of madness.
• "Blibdoolpoolp" is just an approximation of the name of the Kuo-Toa's lobster-headed goddess. Her real name is pronounced identically to the last three bubbles of air that leave a drowning man's lungs.
• In the far north, the deathless creature we call a mummy is known as a draugr.
• A shadow that impresses Orcus may become a shadow demon.
• All wraiths are bound to a magical item they coveted in life, all wights are bound to the tomb in which they were buried, and all spectres to a particular bloodline they wish to exterminate.

A thought about magical treasures

Why is it that the only magic items you ever see around are things that are useful for adventuring? There never seems to be, for instance, any magically-animated paintings (ala Harry Potter), enchanted farm or craft tools, potions of fertility, or things like that. Maybe I should make a chart about it. In the meantime here's all the ideas I could think of int 20 minutes and I'd love to hear your suggestions if you're reading this.

• Enchanted painting or tapestry: Figures seem to move on their own (possibly able to talk)
• Book with living illustrations
• Book that reads self aloud
• Lens that reads other books around
• Robe or dress with scintillating patterns
• Robe or dress that changes color to match mood or environment
• Robe or dress that seems to be lighter than air?
• Cufflinks that fasten themselves
• Vest that buttons itself/bodice that laces itself
• Cloth or clothes that can't be ripped or stained
• Potion of fertility
• Potion of contraception
• Potion of Sleep
• Hallucinogenic potion
• Hair tonic potion
• Self-pulling plow
• Enchanted seeds
• Size of plant
• Abundance of produce
• Fast-growing
• Don't need watered
• Fenceposts/chicken coop of repelling predators
• Net or fishing lure that charms aquatic creatures when cast
• Musical instrument that can play itself
• Musical instrument that always stays in tune
• Musical instrument that can play in multiple keys
• Musical instrument that creates its own accompaniment
• Cask of Liquid Gold (endless beer)
• Decanter of endless wine
• Shaker of endless salt
• Grinder of endless pepper
• Boots of foot massaging
• Living/dancing toys
• Self-playing chess set
• Self-shuffling cards
• Self-rolling dice
• Cheating cards
• Cheating dice
• Scissors/knife that never go dull
• Tools that work by themselves
• Hammer and tongs
• Hammer and saw
• Loom
• Strand twister (rope)
• Needle, sewing
• Needles, knitting
• Cauldron/pan
• Washtub
• Broom/mop/duster
• Self-sweeping broom/mop/duster
• Hairbrush/mirror/makeup brushes
• Whetston
• Clothesline of rapid drying
• Vat that can cure leather/dye cloth quickly
• Essence of flavor
• Wallet, alarm
• Wallet, trapped

How is this spellbook arranged?

Roll 1d12:

1. The spellbook is a lavishly illuminated manuscript. The spell formulas are incorporated into the marginalia and gold leaf.
2. The spellbook is a collection of poems or songs composed by the wizard. The cadences and melodies themselves are a mnemonic device for the actual spells.
3. The spellbook is a folio of paintings or drawings depicting bizarre creatures and landscapes. A certain continuous line in each image describes the pattern the magic must take through the wizard's mind.
4. The spellbook is a journal with entries recounting the day the wizard learned each individual spell. The wizard can memorize the spell by remembering how casting it for the first time felt.
5. The spellbook is a manual of yoga positions or martial art forms. By repeating a specific sequence of movements, a spell is ingrained into the wizard's muscle memory.
6. Each spell in this spellbook is presented as a different recipe, which the wizard prepares by cooking it
7. The spellbook isn't a book at all, but an elaborately-carved rod or staff, on which the wizard has carved a mnemonic pattern of grooves and bumps that she can run her fingers along.
8. The spellbook isn't a book at all, but a bag of tiny stones or other small objects which the wizard must swallow, one for each spell. Upon being cast, the wizard spits up the corresponding stone.
9. The spellbook is a deck of cards, from which the wizard divines a day's spells by shuffling and drawing a hand, trusting in fate to provide the spells she will need today.
10. The spellbook is a manual of acupuncture, complete with a set of needles. The wizard prepares each spell by stimulating the flow of chi through a certain configuration of meridians.
11. The spellbook is a notebook full of complex mathematical equations, which the wizard must solve each morning using a bit of pencil.
12. The spellbook is a collection of koans. By meditating on the paradox, the wizard attains a momentary state of enlightenment that puts her in tune with the flow of magic.

Suspension of disbelief

If anyone's even out there... what typical elements of your game of choice do you have a hard time buying into? Me, I'm a D&D girl, but... I just cannot into dungeons above a small "lair" size and population, unless they're so big as to be an environment unto themselves (like the Underdark). Those of us that have crossed paths with Mike Mornard have all heard the story of how he deflected the question of what the monsters in his dungeon eat by putting a McDonald's on the sixth level of it, but (as non-seriously as I normally take my gaming), even then I tend to fixate on how a handful of goblins are going to navigate through all the intervening hazards that presumably exist between his lair on the first level and Mickey D's on a regular basis. Feel free to describe setting elements (from any game) that stick in your craw, or try to disabuse me of my notions, or whatever.