Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Which Literary Cleric am I ripping off for this NPC

I love Jack and his blog, but given that he's already moved on to villains I think this one is gonna have to fall to me. Answer key will be posted when I feel ready to.

This blind wanderer carries the last copy of a forgotten holy book, in a language only he knows how to read. The gods guide him with such surety that few people ever notice he can't see them.
As a world-shaking disaster loomed and chaos reigned, he stood in public and delivered a sermon, urging people not to lose faith. Then a few started listening to him. Gradually, a few became many, and then many became all. Their hope was rewarded, and so was his.
Believe it or not, the small animal this simpleminded novice keeps by his side is his god's earthly form.
This gentle priest has a suspicious amount of pull with those in power, and an equally suspicious knowledge of the ways of thieves and assassins. He is deceptively handy with a weapon. Though he has taken a vow never to kill, he maintains that he is under no obligation not to cripple his enemies.
This fat friar settled down with a band of outlaws to keep them on the up-and-up. He can wield sword or staff alongside any of them.
This stern archdeacon is tormented by his lustful obsession with a wandering dancer, whom he believes is a witch that has enchanted him.
This scheming patriarch seeks to expose the indiscretions of the queen in order to increase his political influence over the king.
This deathless outcast has fought against and fought alongside his half-demon brother countless times. Unbeknownst to him, the higher power he conducts dark rituals in the name of is none other than the son of the corrupt king he seeks to overthrow. It is whispered that there is one day a year on which he can never be defeated.
This small, worn-looking high priest was granted his office after the assassination of his predecessor, when a mass of his supporters invaded the chamber of the church's council with him raised upon their shoulders. Thanks to his negotiating of a deal with the Regent of a major kingdom, clerics of his faith are no longer barred from fighting.
This scarred warrior-priest has renounced his religion, but has sworn to avenge the people who practiced it on the order of wizards who committed genocide against the people who practiced it using their own magic.
This dark-haired priest has killed hundreds, always after he solemnly repeats a single phrase in a foreign language.
For this axe-wielding reverend with an excruciatingly long name, the crusade against evil is not just a metaphor.
Though only twelve, this fun-loving youngster rose high in the ranks of his monastic order-- even without taking advantage of the fact that he is the vessel of a powerful spirit.
This plain-speaking dwarvish cleric was turned into a vampire recently, but he still intends to keep to his good-aligned faith.
This devout missionary once went astray and became second-in-command of a legion of brutal slavers, but returned to the fold after its leader had him set on fire and thrown off a cliff.
This well-dressed, doddering clergyman speaks at great length with an incredibly annoying speech impediment-- unless a nearby nobleman orders him to hurry it along.
While he has a good reputation, this depraved bishop openly practices cannibalism and usury.
A brutal warlord, this unaging snake-cult leader maintains that flesh is the strongest thing there is-- evidenced by the near-mindless obedience of his followers.
This dark-skinned young girl showed a gift of prophecy from an early age, leading her to become the spiritual leader of a nation when she was only four, after she ferreted out a cabal of disguised rakshasas. She shows a cleverness and wisdom far beyond her years. Within the temple that is her home, she is much stronger than she would be outside.
The daughter of a priest who sacrificed his life in a vitally-important ritual that must soon be repeated, this sheltered priestess is expected to follow in his footsteps, but she has fallen desperately in love with one of her traveling companions.


James Mishler said...

"I am the baby-eating bishop of Bath and Wells!"

Daddy Grognard said... what bwings me to this

Chris Goodwin said...


Chris Goodwin said...

Oh, and Shepherd Book and Durkon Thundershield are in there too.

Oh yeah, and Friar Tuck.

Rachel Ghoul said...

No such luck on the multipass, Chris. All the other guesses are spot-on though.

Maeve Hightower said...

Frollo and that asshole from Sin City?